Don't worry, just keep trying

Well, I went to see one of my favorite OB's that I worked with. He is really nice, has excellent bedside manner, and most of all never panics no matter what the situation. So he of course orders a bunch of lab work. Of course, all my labs are fine, my hormones are all at normal levels. He tells me he doesn't know why I don't have a period. I mention PCOS (poly cysitic ovarian syndrome) and he assures me that I don't have it since my labs were all normal. He tells me to feel lucky that I don't have to have a period all the time and to keep trying. At this point Mike and I have been together almost a year. We know that we will be getting married, he just hasn't proposed yet because he is saving up for the perfect ring.

So after a year of "playing russian roulette", nothing happens. So I go see my OB again. He wants me to get an ultrasound to see if my ovaries and uterus are ok. This is 2 days before Valentine's day. I go have the ultrasound and the Dr. calls me into his office to give me the results. Well, this can't be good or he would have just told me over the phone that everything is fine. I go to the office and he has me sit down. It's not good news. He tells me that I have a bicornuate uterus. This means that my uterus is heart shaped. He says that it is so bad that it looks like eventhough I were to get pregnant, I wouldn't be able to carry a baby passed 23 weeks. A baby is viable at 23 weeks, but obviously, that's not good. He tells me he wants me to get an MRI to get a better picture, that maybe the ultrasound is not giving a good enough picture. I of course leave the office crying my eyes out, thinking that I will never be able to fulfill my dream of having a child and being a mother. I know that I can adopt, but I would really want a child of my own. I want to be pregnant, to experience everything and most of all, to have a child that is from the love that Mike and I share. And so on Valentine's day, I went for my MRI. Being that I work at the hospital, the MRI tech let me look at the pictures of my uterus. Well, it is NOT bicornuate!! There is hope.

That night, Mike proposed. He didn't want to do it on Valentine's day, but the moment was soooo perfect that he had to. I had cooked us a romantic dinner, there were candles and music. We were slow dancing in the dining room and just enjoying each other. Seriously a perfect moment that will be forever engraved in my mind.

Part 4 to come later (you gotta love insomnia!)